3/18/2024

Monthly Miles Memo #194

Filed under: — Aprille @ 7:58 pm

Dear Artemis,

I’m afraid I’m writing this very late–your month birthday fell the day before our Spring Break trip began, and I was too busy packing to do it on that day. Then we were gone all week, and I didn’t pack my computer, and composing this entire thing on a phone was too daunting. I’m going to try to save all the Spring Break content for next month, so I’ll try to remember what happened prior to the trip.

We got your final grades, and you did just splendidly. I’m proud of your hard work and how little prodding you need from me to get your tasks done. You’ve decided not to do marching band next fall, which meant that you had to get a couple of other classes added to fill out your schedule. You said you signed up for some art classes, which I think you’ll enjoy. One of them is digital photography, so I’m interested to see what kinds of projects you complete. You’ve had good experiences in the art department at your school, and I hope you continue to find satisfaction in the creation and appreciation of beauty. I always enjoy attending the end-of-trimester art show at school, so I’m glad you’ll have items on display.

I’m not sure what else you signed up for. I seem to remember my parents having more input into my schedule when I was in high school than I do for you. You just assured your dad and me that you are all under control. I guess the school counselors have a pretty good handle on what students need in terms of classes and hours for graduation, but I really don’t know because it all happens free of any conversation with me.

Your biggest out-of-school interest lately has been film. You’ve been going to movies a lot, sometimes with friends, sometimes by yourself, and sometimes with me. I semi-jokingly told you that even though I suspected you only invited me to movies because you know I’ll pay for both tickets if we go together. You told me it’s actually because some of the movies you wanted to see were rated R and you could only get in with a parent. Oh well. I’m not too disappointed, because I saw a lot more of the Oscar-nominated films this year than I have in a long time. You saw almost all of them, between going to the theater in person and watching them on streaming services. It was interesting to hear you talk about your impressions and critiques. I’m glad we have access to Filmscene, an independent movie theater that shows a lot of films that might be hard to see otherwise. I got you a Filmscene gift card for Christmas last year, and it turned out to be the gift you most appreciated. Next year I’ll get you another one and put more money on it.

You had a busy month with musical events, including several trips for concert band and jazz band. It’s hard to get much out of you in terms of any enlightenment or enjoyment that comes from those events. I have the impression that in your ideal world, you’d just be in your room playing video games or watching movies. You do usually walk to school, even when I offer you a ride because it’s cold and I worry that your sweatpants aren’t warm enough. Your social life is opaque to me, but I think you like walking to school with a friend or two, so I guess that’s a good combination of physical and interpersonal exercise.

Your current favorites: cream soda, pasta, ice cream, watching movies, wearing sweats and pajama pants, the color red, and making us laugh with your dry wit. You’re an interesting, unusual person, Art, and I am glad to have the opportunity to get to know you. Thank you for including me in your world sometimes.

Love,

Mom

 

 

3/2/2024

Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting

Filed under: — Aprille @ 7:28 am

We’re celebrating Denny’s birthday early this year due to some upcoming conflicts. I’m blogging his favorite cake recipe because I always end up looking it up and trying to remember my personal adjustments.

Denny’s Favorite Carrot Cake

Preheat oven to 350 F.

  • 4 eggs
  • 3/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup applesauce (1 little single-serving container)
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 3 cups shredded carrots
  • 2 cups AP flour
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp table salt
  • chopped pecans as desired

Lightly spray a large rimmed baking sheet (I use a half sheet pan). Line with parchment and spray again. Pour in the batter and spread evenly. Bake until a toothpick comes out clean, about 20-25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

Turn the cake out onto a large parchment-lined cutting board. Cut the cake into four quarters. These are your layers, no splitting required! You can cut right through the parchment to help keep things intact.

Cream cheese frosting

Note: This is a 1.5 recipe, suitable for a layer cake. If I’m making pumpkin bars or something else smaller, use 2 bricks of cream cheese, 1 stick of butter, and 3 cups confectioner’s sugar.

  • 3 bricks (8 oz each) of cream cheese, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup (1.5 sticks) butter, room temperature. Optional: brown the butter, cool, and bring to room temperature. I don’t usually do this for a layer cake but often do for pumpkin bars.
  • 4.5 cups confectioner’s sugar
  • a splash of vanilla
  • 3/4 tsp salt (only if using unsalted butter; omit if using salted butter)

Frost and fill the cake, rotating the layers as necessary to make it mostly flat. Remember to peel off the parchment. Trim the edges for the same reason. Decorate with chopped pecans to your preference.

2/29/2024

The Tobin Times #150

Filed under: — Aprille @ 12:24 pm

Dear Tobin,

Things are looking up around here. You are my number one excitement-sharer for our upcoming trip to the Florida Keys. Perhaps certain members of the family get annoyed with my travel enthusiasm, but lucky for me, I can always count on you to do a wiggly dance as we think about our plans. You talked Callum into a nightly ritual of crossing days off the calendar as our departure approaches, and you’re always up for a scan through the photos of our condo or a visit to the websites of the various restaurants and attractions we’re going to visit. You’ve mentioned several times how excited you are that we’re returning to the same condo we stayed at last time. I agree–not only do we know it’s a nice place, with a fantastic pool and a beautiful beach on-site, but it’s extra special to be able to visualize the space and know what to anticipate.

We have some definite plans and some vague plans, but one thing I know we won’t skip is our morning walks on the beach. You’ve been more into sleeping late as you approach your teen circadian rhythms, but I think I’ll be able to drag you out of bed for a walk on the sand, especially if the foot shower is working.

You’re continuing to take any opportunity you can find to earn money. Whenever a paid research job for your demographic crops up, you always want to sign up for it. Between your lab rat duties, yard work for neighbors, and gift money from grandparents, you’ve got quite a nest egg. You’ve expressed some interest in finance, including possibly taking a financial literacy class as an elective in school next year. Maybe you should take on the task of choosing an investment strategy instead of blowing your earnings on Hot Cheetos.

Earlier this month, you wrapped up the most recent research study you’ve been doing. The researchers had to go back and re-do the brain MRI you started previously, because of a problem with the software they were using. You were slightly annoyed to have to do it again, but you did a good job. I hope it helps you feel less nervous if you have to have an MRI for a legitimate medical reason in the future. You definitely like the payout that comes from these research gigs.

One good outcome of repeating the MRI was that you got your 3D-printed brain in the mail a couple of days later. It’s kind of wild to know that every little groove and wrinkle on that plastic brain represents what’s really in your skull. It’s a lovely brain, and I’m very proud that you’re an important part of scientific research.

All your usual activities have been keeping you busy. You’re finishing up basketball season this week, and it won’t be long before soccer and baseball start. Spring and early summer are always a nonstop time around here, though it gets a little easier once school is out. On the advice of friends who’ve done it in the past, you signed up for a soccer camp in July. Given the amount of socializing you’ve been doing this school year, I foresee another summer full of biking to friends’ houses, going to the pool, and bouncing at the trampoline park. It can be exhausting managing your social schedule, but I see how you thrive with a life full of friends and activities.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Your current favorites: travel planning, hanging out with friends after school, thinking about going to middle school, pizza, cocktail hour, watching shows with your dad at night, and wearing sweats.

Your smile, your laugh, and your zest for life make every day brighter. I can’t wait to walk on the beach with you, my heart.

Love,

Mom

2/17/2024

The Callum Chronicle #109

Filed under: — Aprille @ 9:35 pm

My dear Callum,

As usual, this month has been full of moments of laughter. You say the funniest things, and you’re so smart and perceptive. One of the very best times of the day for me each night is our bedtime routine, when we read from a book, say our goodnights, do a couple of puzzles on my phone, and fall asleep. I don’t always fall asleep next to you, but I often do, and it’s always a snuggly and cozy time.

You are absolutely capable of reading on your own; in fact, you’ve gotten hooked on a book series and are anxiously awaiting the latest installment. You still let me read to you, though, and I really enjoy it. Right now, we’re reading The Candy Smash by Jacqueline Davies. It’s part a series, and the one of the main characters has a consistent problem (maybe due to neurodivergence?) understanding other people’s emotions and motivations. That’s not an area where you struggle; you often palm your face in frustration with Jessie’s insensitivity and bluntness. It’s given us good opportunities to discuss how she could make better choices in human interactions.

Like the rest of us, you’re getting excited for our upcoming Spring Break trip to the Florida Keys. You and Tobin have started marking off the days on the calendar Skitter gave you. Right now the aspect you’re most looking forward to is mozzarella sticks. We don’t do a lot of in-restaurant dining these days, out of an abundance of caution for your health, and mozzarella sticks don’t seem like they’d do well as take-out. But there are many restaurants down in the Keys that are open air, including one that has both mozzarella sticks and mini-golf. It will be fun to order freshly-fried delights and do a little putt-putting in a tropical environment. We’ve been to this Key enough times that we have old favorite places to go as well as new things we want to try.

You’ve been taking swimming lessons, and you’re making big improvements. On our last trip, you only wanted to swim using a pool noodle. I hope this time you’re more confident and able to have a little more freedom. You told me that it’s your goal to do a cannonball into the pool at the same time as your siblings, and I really hope the three of you can make that happen. I’m getting pumped about the fun that awaits us.

We have an appointment with your GI specialist in a couple of weeks, but it seems like your health is going well. I’m doing my best to keep pushing food into you, since weight gain has been a challenge for you. It’s also been a challenge for your older sibling Artemis, who doesn’t have any GI disease, so I’m not sure I’m going to be very successful in that area. You may just be a skinny person by nature. Still, I rarely say no to snacks, and I try to offer you a lot of tasty and nutritious food. You’re a pretty good eater, though I wish you’d eat more vegetables.

Unfortunately, due to scheduling constraints we can’t avoid, we have to do a Humira shot while we’re on vacation. A friend of our who has diabetes has given us some good tips about traveling with syringes, and we’re going to be getting a special insulated container to hopefully keep it cool throughout our travels. My worst worry is that we’ll accidentally leave it in the hotel refrigerator in our scramble to get out for our 7:10 a.m. flight, but surely I can do something to make it obvious that we need to empty the mini-fridge.

School seems to be going well. We’ll have conferences in a couple of weeks, but I haven’t heard anything that makes me concerned. You seem to have friends, you’re doing well in all the academic areas, and you really like your ELP class. Your wonderful ELP teacher is retiring after this school year, so I hope the next one is just as good. You went to a Valentine’s Day party at your friend Norah’s house last weekend, and you were really excited about that. You have a birthday party for your friend Connor coming up too.

You’re also excited about this summer’s adventures, including your first time going to Filmscene Animation. That’s something Artemis has done many times and Tobin did once, so you’re ready to take up the challenge. We go to movies at Filmscene pretty often, and it will feel like a pretty big deal to take you to camp there, just like the big kids. Whether I want to admit it or not, you’re becoming a big kid. You’re creative and capable, and I can’t wait to see what you do.

Your current favorites: your cozy sweatshirt-blanket garment, playing Gorilla Tag on the Oculus with your friend Griffin, playing with your friends at school, basketball, the big cat pillow Suzy and Joe gave you, ice cream, chicken wings, and being snuggly.

You’re a sweet, kind, smart little guy. I’m so lucky to be your mom.

Love,

Mom

 

2/13/2024

Monthly Miles Memo #193

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:21 pm

Hello, my dear.

As we slog through the tedious winter weeks of February, the pastime that has been keeping you the most engaged is film. You’ve been going to movies at Filmscene (putting to good use the Filmscene card you got for Christmas), watching movies on the various streaming platforms we have, and talking about them online and in person. Last weekend, Mubby and Skitter were visiting, and you spent a long time talking with Mubby about the movies that have gotten award nominations this season. You’ve seen a lot more of them than I have, and Mubby likes to go to the movies a lot too, so you had some good conversations. I did go to one movie with you, Past Lives, and I enjoyed it a lot. Mostly I enjoyed having an evening out with you.

You’re not very excited about band anymore these days, but your dad and I want you to keep at least one extracurricular activity. There’s a French film club at your school, and I think you’d find that enriching. Another possibility is robotics club, as a couple of your friends do that. Finally, if you can’t find any sort of team or club, you could get a job. I suggested that you apply to work at Filmscene, citing your multi-year animation camp participation and frequent movie-going as qualifications. You said you looked and they’re not currently hiring, but it seems like it would be a good idea to put out feelers to the people you know there.

Speaking of Mubby and Skitter’s visit, they both so enjoyed how much time you spent with them. Your default at home is to disappear into your room, emerging only for food and sometimes to grab one of the gaming systems from downstairs. Your dad encouraged you to hang out, and you really did more than I expected. It means a lot to them to get to know you as a person. I feel lucky to be having the same opportunity, albeit in smaller doses throughout the days and weeks. You’re becoming a thoughtful, funny, and interesting young adult, and it’s fun to see those sides of you.

We’re getting ready for our Florida Keys trip next month, and depending on how the budget works out, it might be our last trip there while you’re in high school. We’re planning the Great Clarke/Crall Europe Trip for the summer after your senior year, which would also be a Keys year according to our usual schedule. I had initially planned to skip the Keys that year, in order to dedicate more of the travel budget to the Europe trip, but I’m doing pretty well with my Europe trip savings fund. Because we normally go to the Keys out of the general household operating budget, maybe we can still make it happen.

Tobin and Callum are both really pumped about our upcoming trip, but you haven’t shown as much enthusiasm. That might just be your generally chill nature, though. Tobin and I have been planning to do some snorkeling at Pigeon Key, and I suggested that you might like to do it as well. Several trips ago, you did some snorkeling at John Pennekamp State Park. You were young enough that we didn’t get too adventurous, but I think you enjoyed it, and you seemed at least mildly intrigued by the idea of trying it again.

We had some serious winter weather in January, and you were helpful with moving snow. Usually you grumble a bit when asked to do household chores or yard work, and I imagine you grumbled this time too, but you got the work done. We got tons of snow, and we needed the efforts of everyone in family to get it moved. Tobin was busy shoveling our neighbor’s sidewalk, but you, your dad and I got our sidewalk and driveway done. Callum came outside sometimes, but he wasn’t terribly helpful. After all the snow, the temperature plummeted. Between the snow and the cold, you missed a lot of school. From what I understand, you’re now at the limit of how many snow days you can have before the school year has to be extended. The school year is already going late, because the district has added a number of holidays throughout the year (the most recent of which was a four-day weekend in honor of Lunar New Year). While there’s no guarantee we won’t have any more storms, I hope we don’t, because I don’t want your summer to get unduly shrunken.

I admit, though, I enjoyed having you and your brothers around a lot this winter. It was pretty relaxing most of the time, and you had a lot of hot chocolate. Luckily we never lost power or Internet, so your dad was able to work remotely, and you probably watched a lot of movies.

 

Your current favorites: movies, pasta, Goldfish crackers, Honey Nut Cheerios, ice cream, cozy clothing, walking to school with your friend Jacob, sleeping late, your French and English classes, reading, and playing video games.

I love you, my dear. I’m happy to see you becoming excited about a subject area, and I’m looking forward to watching you grow even more.

Love,

Mom

1/27/2024

The Tobin Times #149

Filed under: — Aprille @ 9:22 pm

Dear Tobin,

It’s been a long, weird winter break. You had the expected couple of weeks off around the holidays, and due to inclement weather of various types, you haven’t had a full school week since then. Last week was the closest, with four days of school, and it’s looking like next week will finally be normal. You’ve been relishing the extra time off. You are slipping into the teenage circadian rhythms—you’ll sleep in until 10:30 or 11:00 if you can. You used to be an early riser, but now that you’re nearly twelve-and-a-half, it’s not too surprising. You’ve also been shoveling our neighbors’ sidewalk and driveway because they’re spending most of the winter out of town. We’d had an almost snow-free winter until January, when it all fell down at once. We got fifteen inches in forty-eight hours during the first wave, and then we got another five or so inches a couple of days later. I read that it’s the largest amount of snow our area has gotten in that short a timeframe since 1973.

The first round of snow was wet and heavy, too, which made for a challenging shoveling task. We all worked at it, since we needed to get our own driveway and sidewalk done as well. Callum mostly rolled around in the snow, but everyone else worked hard. I had to re-up our hot chocolate supply, because that was a popular post-snow-removal treat. After the first blizzard, the temperature dropped severely. You had school cancellations due to the low temperatures, and then when the temperatures rose again to around freezing levels, you had another cancellation due to icy conditions. We’ve had a lot of melting since things have warmed up, but the snow is still pretty deep.

Along with the money you’ve been earning moving snow, you had your highest-paying lab rat job to date. As I may have described in previous monthly letters, you were part of a multi-stage study about the brains of high achievers. You completed a variety of tests, including computer-based activities, interviews, biometric data collection, and an IQ test. You were paid for each phase, but we thought you wouldn’t be eligible for the big payout: the brain MRI. The research is comparing the brains of high-achieving kids both with and without ADHD or autism, and you were in the “without” group. The MRI was only supposed to be for kids in the “with” group, but a member of the research team called me and said your IQ test (verbal IQ specifically) was so high that they wanted to include you. I asked not to get the results, because I didn’t think it would be useful or helpful for me or you to know, but I guess it was a pretty high score.

We went to have it done, and everything went fine from your perspective. Unfortunately, there was some kind of problem with their software for one part of the MRI, so we need to go in next week to finish it up. In any case, you were very excited to get a fat check for your efforts. I’m proud that scientists agree that your brain is so interesting it deserves special scrutiny.

You’ve been very jazzed about starting junior high next year. They’re actually changing it to middle school; you’ll finish out your sixth-grade year in elementary school, but as of next fall, the middle school will house sixth-, seventh-, and eighth-graders. You’re not only excited about the new opportunities that middle school will bring, but you’re glad that you won’t be in the youngest grade in the school. The principal came to your class earlier this week and talked about all the interesting classes you can take, and we spent a long time filling out a survey the middle school sent to gauge interest. You’ll take the basic classes, of course, as well as ELP and a few electives. You expressed interest in Family & Consumer Sciences (because of the cooking element), metalworking, some art classes, and an introduction to Spanish and French that can set you up to take a more rigorous class in eighth grade.

You’re excited to move on in part because this school year has not been going so great. It started well, but your teacher (whom you liked a lot) left for maternity leave, and you don’t feel very confident in your long-term sub. I guess there are a number of kids in your class who aren’t very well-behaved, and the sub doesn’t have a very firm hand in terms of discipline or classroom management. You’ve been feeling pretty negative about school lately, so it’s nice to see you enthusiastic about what’s coming up next year. I’m hoping that your regular teacher will whip the class into shape when she returns in early March. In any case, the school year always seems like a race to the finish once we hit spring break, and that is coming up in not too long.

You’re my best buddy for spring break dreaming, and we’re very happy that this is a Keys year. You and I share a special joy in looking at pictures of our condo (especially because we’re returning to the same place we stayed last time, which has a particularly lovely pool overlooking the ocean). You also like to look at the websites of local restaurants and attractions with me. Each time we visit, we like to balance returning to our old favorite destinations with trying something new. This time, our plan is to visit Pigeon Key. It’s a little island that was a home base for the people who built the original Seven Mile Bridge, back when it carried a railroad. We’ll take a ferry to get out there, and once we’ve arrived, there’s some historical and natural splendor to enjoy. You have expressed interest in snorkeling there with me, as apparently there’s some good off-shore snorkeling available. It sounds fun, and it’s always good times when I get to do something aquatic with you.

Your current favorites: thinking about junior high, playing with friends, figuring out what we’re having on take-out night, Adidas sweatpants, helping cook, sports, reading (both physical and audiobooks), playing Gorilla Tag with your friends on the Oculus VR, and making money. You have a lot saved up now, so we really need to get you your own bank account so you can make some choices about how to save and spend.

It occurred to me that you’re truly unstoppable, Tobin. With your smart brain, adventurous spirit, and entrepreneurial attitude, I am confident you’ll go far. I just hope you invite me along, or at least let me visit pretty often. I love you so much.

Love,

Mom

 

1/14/2024

The Callum Chronicle #108

Filed under: — Aprille @ 9:30 pm

Happy 9th birthday, my sweetheart!

You are such a kind, loving kid. Every day, you tell me something sweet and appreciative, like, “Thank you for making dinner for us every night” or congratulating me on my efforts on a video game, even when I fail. When I tuck you in at night, you tell me you’ll miss me. You’re doing great in school, and you even got to celebrate on your true birthday with your class. The school district has stricter rules about snacks than they used to, so no cookies or cupcakes, but you were excited to share popcorn and juice pouches with your classmates.

As a matter of fact, you only had school two days that week. We had a huge snowstorm followed by a big snowstorm, and now we’re deep into sub-zero temperatures. It’s been almost like an extra-long winter break, punctuated by two school days. Monday and Thursday are your favorite school days anyway, because they’re the days you have ELP, so you got lucky by having those as your only school days of the week.

Your interest in recreational reading has really jumped lately. You’ve been wanting to read long, complicated books on your own. Sometimes you even choose to read to yourself at bedtime rather than have me read to you. You got a book for Christmas, The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate, and you got through it so quickly that you were ready for the sequel several days before your birthday. There’s no way you’re going to be able to wait until the next holiday for the third book in the series, so I guess we’ll be getting it as a “just because” kind of gift. I can’t say no to a kid who really wants to read a good, challenging book.

When I do read aloud to you at bedtime, you often make astute observations. We may have finally exhausted the Humphrey series (thank goodness–they’re nice books, but I think we’ve been through the entire series twice now, and I’m ready to move on). Lately we’ve been reading The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies, and you quickly picked up on the way the author alternates between the perspectives of the two main characters. There’s also a lot of math in the book, and you’ve been anticipating the answers to the problems posed before the text addresses them.

You’re getting more independent, though. You love to pour your own beverages, even when the pitcher is really full. We haven’t had any serious disasters yet, so I guess you’re getting the hang of it. Your dad doesn’t like it, but you’ve proven more than once that an entire can of soda will fit into your favorite wine glass.

Health-wise, you seem to be doing well. The recent inclement weather has caused a delay in getting some of your supplements, but all your levels were good at your last appointment, so you’re probably not going get too thrown off track by missing a couple of days of Flintstones multivitamins. We’re fine on your supply of Humira, and you’ve been doing a wonderful job handling getting your shots. We have a whole routine worked out: you ice your leg in the spot where your dad is going to give you the shot, then you pinch yourself on the other leg as a distraction. There’s a TikTok video of funny dogs that you like, so as soon as your dad puts the needle in, I push play and you watch the dogs. The last couple of times, Tobin has asked to watch. I think he’s impressed by your bravery. It’s easy for us to think of you as the baby and treat you as such, so it’s good for you to be in a position to show off how mature you are.

We had a fun holiday season, a nice mix of busy and relaxed. We saw lots of different family members (though Uncle Mark’s cats didn’t show up enough for your liking), played games, ate a lot of treats, and watched a few movies. We went to the movie theater to see Wonka, and you really liked the recliner-style seats at the movie theater in Ames. You’re a good traveler, and I never feel like I have to worry about how you’ll handle road trips. You’re getting very excited for our spring break trip to the Keys. You and Tobin have agreed that you like the whole process, from staying in an airport hotel the night before to walking around the airport to flying to picking up the rental car to driving down to the Keys. It’s a process, and sometimes it’s a frustrating one, so I’m glad you’re going into it with a good attitude.

Your current favorites: steak frites, chicken wings, lemon poppyseed muffins, ribs, reading, YouTube, not wearing a shirt, dancing, cuddling at bedtime, and playing with your school friends. You’ve had a couple of playdates with a classmate who lives right down the street from us, so I hope you can continue to connect with him. You’re fun and have a lot to offer.

I love you so much, my big kid. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known you nine years, and yet I can’t believe you’re most of a decade old. You’re one of the great joys of my heart, and I’m so, so grateful to have you.

Love,

Mom

1/13/2024

Monthly Miles Memo #192

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:53 pm

Happy 16th birthday, my darling!

Your birthday was the last day of winter break, and we celebrated with your favorite home-cooked dinner the previous night (linguine with homemade tomato sauce) and your favorite take-out (Panda Express) and ice cream cake on the actual day. You also enjoyed some presents and general goofing around. It’s a crummy time of year to have a party, especially considering the weather challenges we’ve had lately, but you got together with friends a couple of times during the break. Maybe when things warm up you can do something more organized.

You only went to school two days this week, because we had a couple of big weather events. The first storm came on the afternoon of your first day back to school following break. It dumped fifteen inches of snow on our area, which I learned is the largest accumulation of snow this county has had since 1973. You had two days off after that happened. Once that passed, you went to school one day. The following day, there was another storm, and you got Friday off school, which makes it a four-day weekend since Monday is Martin Luther King day. Now the temperatures have plummeted, and I wouldn’t be shocked if the four-day weekend morphed into a five-day weekend. So far you and your brothers seem to be enjoying the time off, but I think at some point you’ll feel ready to get back into your routine. January is always the month with the most weather challenges, and it seems to have all happened in a one-week span this year. Hopefully we’re almost past the worst of it and you’ll be able to get back to learning and socializing.

You’re not quite ready to get your driver’s license yet. You’ve completed Driver’s Ed and the written portion of your driving test, but you still need to wait until April until a full year has elapsed with your permit, and you need to take the driving test as well. You definitely need some more practice between now and then; we haven’t done enough this winter, and right now it’s dangerous even for an experienced driver. You don’t seem to have a lot of urge to get your license. I think that’s a generational difference. Many of your friends aren’t in a big hurry to either. Maybe it’s because we have pretty good public transportation around here, and we living within walking distance of your school. Either way, you’re not chomping at the bit. It would still be a good accomplishment, and once the streets are more passable, we’ll have to get out there and get more practice hours in before you take the final step.

We enjoyed some nice holiday togetherness with family, including a trip to Albia to see your dad’s family and a trip to Ames to see mine. The scarf in the photo above is actually a pair of pants, but you look cute in them either way. It was a pretty relaxing break, with nothing too wild happening. The whole family had to pitch in on the snow-removal effort, so you helped with that, with only minimal grumbling. It’s too cold to leave the house now, even with your jaunty scarf, so we’re all just hunkering down.

I really enjoy your company. You’re a good sport about hanging around for a while during family cocktail hour and at meals, and you always have something funny or interesting to say. You got the go-ahead at your most recent orthpaedics appointment to only wear your brace during sleeping hours. That’s been a nice lifestyle upgrade for you, since I don’t think it’s very comfortable. You’re almost done growing (which is good for our family shoe budget), and it means that your back is probably at or very near its final position. While it will never be completely straight, it’s close enough that you don’t have any activity restrictions, and it’s certainly not visibly noticeable. I’m glad you never needed to wear it to school, and I’m very glad that you did such a good job wearing it for the prescribed hours over the last few years.

Before break, you had a band concert, which Mubby and Skitter attended. It was impressive as usual; you and your fellow musicians do a great job. Right now, concert band and jazz band are your only school activities. I wish you’d get excited about something else, and you don’t even have the best attitude about music these days. I’m not sure what it will take to get you motivated about a particular area of study or recreation, but it seems like you need to get a fire lit under you somehow. Right now it seems like your level of enthusiasm is pretty low all around. You seem cheerful enough; you always make us laugh at the dinner table, and you have been watching a lot of movies and getting interested in film.

I’ve been looking around for summer camps or class that would let you do hands-on filmmaking, but I haven’t found anything yet. You attended the Filmscene animation camp many times and the miniatures camp once, and you liked them a lot, but you feel like you’ve gotten all you can get out of them. I reached out to the Filmscene people to see if they were running any more advanced filmmaking camps, but they’re not for the time being. I’ll keep looking around. Your dad wants you to get a job this summer, which is not out of the question, but I’d be just has happy if you were engaged in some kind of learning and/or artistic experience.

Your current favorites: sleeping in late on all these snow days, playing Minecraft, watching movies, watching the show Lupin with your dad, pasta, Honey Nut Cheerios, Goldfish crackers, making us laugh with your witticisms, getting good grades, and being a great kid.

I love you so much, my dear Artemis. Sixteen will bring new challenges and new joys, and I’m so glad to share them with you.

Love,

Mom

12/31/2023

Crispy Garbanzo Beans/Chickpeas

Filed under: — Aprille @ 6:02 pm

Rinse 2 cans (15 oz each) of garbanzo beans. Dry them well on paper towels, removing as many of the skins as possible. Spread on a parchment-linked rimmed baking tray and let dry, uncovered, for 2+ hours.

Heat oven to 425F with convection. Bake beans, stirring every 10 minutes, until lightly browned and crisp (about 25-30 minutes total). Stir, then turn off oven and let them sit in the oven for 15 minutes.

Mix:

  • 2 Tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • 1 tsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • 1/4 tsp MSG
  • a healthy shake powdered chipotle

Toss the dry-roasted beans in the spice/oil mixture. Let cool completely before storing, loosely covered.

12/28/2023

The Tobin Times #148

Filed under: — Aprille @ 6:37 pm

Dear Tobin,

As usual, you spent this month brimming with energy and enthusiasm. You haven’t been super excited about school lately—your regular teacher is out on maternity leave, and I think your long-term sub isn’t quite living up to the standards the regular teacher set. She should be back this spring, and I know you’re looking forward to that. You love babies, and I know you’re going to be excited to see pictures of her newborn and hear about his developments. While you’re not thrilled about the day-to-day school experience, you’re certainly invested in the sixth-grade social scene. Almost every day after school you play at a friend’s house, and you’re invited to sleepovers many weekends. It can be hard to keep track of your social calendar, but it’s helped that you have an Apple watch now, so at least I can find your location and text you if we need to make adjustments to the plan.

Your money-making schemes have yielded some good dividends lately. You’ve been doing a multi-part study about the genetics of giftedness. You had to spit into a tube to provide a DNA sample, then you did some interactive activities and had biometric data taken, and then you took an IQ test. The staffmember who administered the IQ test mentioned that you may or may not be eligible for the final part of the study, which is an MRI. She said it sounded cool, because you get a 3D printout of your brain when it’s all done. I later received a communication from the research lab stating that people were only eligible for the MRI part of the study if they were academically gift and also had a diagnosis of autism or ADHD.

I’ve had my suspicions throughout the years that you may have a touch of the ADHD, but it was never disruptive enough that I sought out any kind of diagnosis or treatment. I was never sure (and am still not sure) if your inability to sit in a chair through an entire meal is outside the normal range for a kid; all I have for comparison are your siblings, both of whom are on the sedate side. Regardless, you’ve never had a problem achieving good grades in school, and your teachers have never complained about your behavior. You get along well with others, so I figured as long as you weren’t experiencing any negative outcomes, there was no need to pathologize you.

In any case, it didn’t matter, because a member of the research team called me up and said that you scored so high on the verbal portion of the IQ test, they want to do the MRI on you. I clarified that you do NOT have an ADHD or autism diagnosis, and she double-checked with her supervisor. She was right the first time: they want to take a look into that weird and wonderful brain of yours.

I expressed some concern about whether you’d be able to lie still in an MRI machine for that long, and she assured me that even if you can’t complete the full session, they can still use whatever information they can get and it shouldn’t dissuade us from doing it. I imagine if their usual audience is kids who definitely have ADHD or autism, they’re prepared to handle a variety of tolerance levels. I’ve had MRIs several times, and for me the worst part is the loud noise. You have no qualms about loud noise, so you may do just fine. The best part from your perspective is that you get $95. Despite being a person with no expenses, you really love earning and saving money, and being a lab rat is an interesting way to do that.

You had your first band concert as a member of the advanced band. It’s amazing how much musical growth happens in one year of band lessons. Attending those concerts reaffirms my belief that there is no more selfless a human being than an elementary school band teacher. You and Artemis both like the band teacher at your school, and I think she has a good sense of humor. That is probably a requirement for the position.

At dinner the evening of your concert, you mentioned that you had asked to introduce the song “Samba la Bamba,” but the teacher had only vaguely acknowledged your request. From attending previous concerts, it seemed to me that the kids who did introductions had something fairly lengthy prepared, probably with the teacher’s input, so I wasn’t really expecting you to do the introduction.

When “Samba la Bamba” came up in the program, you walked to the microphone and gave a very eloquent introduction to the song. Then, at the end, you said “also known as SAMba la BAMba,” in a crazy accent that cannot easily be rendered in text but reminded me of Yosemite Sam. I’ve watched the video of it about a hundred times, and quite a few parents laughed about it with me after the concert. You’re a nut and half, Tobin.

Your current favorites: food from Panda Express, playing online games with your friends, sleepovers, the Percy Jackson book series by Rick Riordan, Flamin’ Hot Funyuns, cookies and milk, maintaining family traditions, wearing Adidas sweatpants and hoodie, and playing indoor soccer with Callum. You’re a great brother, a great son, a great friend, and a joy to have around. I don’t know exactly what I expect to see when we get the 3D printout of your brain, but I have a feeling it’s going to be spectacular.

Love,

Mom

 

 

12/17/2023

The Callum Chronicle #107

Filed under: — Aprille @ 6:37 pm

Dear Callum,

I’m thrilled to say that you’ve been a healthy, energetic little guy lately. Your dad and I have both noticed that you’ve been full of pep, dancing all around the house and skipping and running home from school. You often ask to go out and ride your bike or Tobin’s skateboard, and you’re doing well on both. I don’t think you’ve attempted any ollies yet, but maybe Tobin can coach you on those this summer.

We had a GI specialist appointment for you last week, and your doctor was mildly concerned about some elevated calprotectin numbers you had on a recent test. That’s a measure of intestinal inflammation. Normal for a typical person is a level under 50. Before you started treatment for Crohn’s, your level was 1600. It had gone done to 108, which your doctor said was acceptable for a Crohn’s patient. We had labs done before your last appointment, and the good news was that your nutrition levels are looking great. You had previously been deficient in vitamin D and iron, and those levels are back in the normal range after adding supplements. Your doctor also pointed out some other nutritional and inflammatory markers, and she said those were all good too. The bad news was that your calprotectin was at 450. She wasn’t sure what was causing that, though it’s possible you had some blood draining into your digestive system either from your mouth or your nose. You’ve had a cold lately, which could have led to a nosebleed down your throat, and you’ve also had some gum tenderness. She had us repeat the calprotectin test, and it came back at only 38. That’s excellent, a good level even for a person without IBD. That means that your elevated levels must have been caused by something else that is now resolved. It also means that your treatment protocol is working. We don’t have to add any new drugs or send you for another colonoscopy. You probably will be getting an MRI at some point in the next couple of months, but that’s expected for all Crohn’s patients, and your doctor said there’s no big rush.

Even though worrying is a hobby of mine, I found it hard to be too het up even before we got your follow-up test results. You just seem to be doing so well, it was hard to imagine you were having internal problems. Your energy has been great, you haven’t had any GI pain or diarrhea, and your appetite has been good. Also, as I mentioned to your doctor, even your fingernails seem to be growing faster lately. She said that’s an indicator of good general health and nutrition. You’re still not gaining weight like she wants you to, so we’re giving you as many snacks as you want along with your regular meals. You are a fan of treats as well as a good helper in making them.

We got our Christmas tree not long after Thanksgiving. We had a slightly unsatisfying experience, as we didn’t get as good a look at the tree as we would have liked before we committed to it. Once we got it home, it looked kind of scrawny and deformed. You love to name our Christmas trees, and you accepted my suggestion of the name Olive Oyl. I’m sure you have no idea about the cultural context for that name, but trust me, she emulates the boniness and lumpiness of our tree. Fortunately I was able to buy some artificial greenery to fill in the meager areas, and now it looks pretty good. We had a good time festooning it with all our old favorite decorations, including the ornaments you and your siblings made at the Corning Museum of Glass over the summer. You’ve been relishing opening a little door on your Advent calendar each day, and you’re getting into the holiday spirit well.

It’s been unseasonably warm (climate change is real), so we haven’t had much of the fresh early winter snow we usually see. That has meant more outdoor time for you, which is good not only for your biking and skateboarding interests, but also for inspecting bugs. You and a couple of your school friends like to gather bugs at recess, and I’m pretty sure you follow your teacher’s rule of not bringing them inside. If we happen upon a box elder bug on the way home from school, you always want to sit outside and let it crawl on you for a while.  You’re kind and gentle to living things, from insects to cats. We don’t have many stray cats around our neighborhood, thank goodness, so I guess you’ll have to be the local bug guy.

Your reading skills have really taken off lately. You’ve read some thick chapter books, including one by an author you got to meet in person through the school district’s Visiting Author program. You do love using technological devices, but it only takes a little prodding for you to put the iPad down and pick up your book. You’ve even chosen to have ten extra silent reading minutes at bedtime instead of having me read to you a few times lately. You still like your bedtime cuddles, so I just lie there next to you while you read. Then we continue the ritual with a multi-stage series of goodnights to you and your stuffed animals (I make you choose two, since I would really like you to get to bed before midnight), a couple of games of Wordscapes and Best Fiends on my phone, and going to sleep. You always ask me to tell you before I leave to go to my own bed. I’m glad to do it, thought often enough I fall asleep for a while in your bed that you’re also asleep by the time I leave. You don’t need me to stay with you until you fall asleep anymore, but it’s awfully cozy in there with you, and sometimes it just happens.

Your current favorites: playing board games, including Sorry and Trouble that you got as a gift at the doctor’s office the other day; cookies and cream ice cream; our “lemons into lemonade” trips to Trader Joe’s after you have to get blood work done at the nearby medical lab; playing online games with your school friends; your ELP class at school, particularly the fourth graders in the class; reading; dancing; and lifting weights. You flex your tiny biceps at me and ask if they’ve improved. I always tell you yes. Maybe I shouldn’t blow smoke up your butt, but you’re so darn cute.

I love you, my dear Callum. Have a wonderful last month of being eight.

Love,

Mom

12/14/2023

Monthly Miles Memo #191

Filed under: — Aprille @ 9:00 pm

Dear Artie,

December is sliding by so quickly, much like all of your fifteenth year. This is your last month of being fifteen, and with all the hubbub of the holidays, I’m sure it will be your birthday before we even have a chance to catch our breath. A sixteenth birthday is a big deal, but I have nearly a month before I need to come to terms with that.

Your grades first trimester were magnificent, straight-As in all your classes, including a few A-pluses. You’re taking honors French, honors English, and AP World History, as well as biology, Algebra II, and band. After finishing up a sculpture class first trimester, you finally have a study hall now. As of this year, participating in marching band counts as a P.E. credit, so that gives you a little extra room in your schedule.

Partly as a reward for your excellent report card and partly just because you needed an upgrade, we got you a new cell phone. So far the screen isn’t cracked at all, and it seems to be working well for you. I hope you enjoy it and put it to good use. Your school has a pretty strict no-phones-in-class policy, so when I feel an urge to send you a funny meme, I try to time it so you get it at lunch. Sometimes you acknowledge it and sometimes you don’t, but it makes me feel better knowing that at least your hardware is reliable.

You have an appointment coming up next week in orthopedics to check on the state of your spine. At your last checkup, they found you were close enough to being done growing that it was unlikely for your scoliosis to worsen. I certainly hope you get confirmation of that prediction at your appointment. Assuming you can get to your full skeletal development without significant worsening of your curve, you can avoid surgery. That would be wonderful, since spinal surgery is a pretty major operation with a long and painful recovery time. Obviously it can’t be avoided in every case, no matter how diligently the patient braces, but your fairly mild curve plus your great bracing work will, I hope, keep you out of the OR. You have done a truly exceptional job being consistent with your bracing. I don’t know a lot of teenagers who would never have to be reminded at all to put their brace on or to wear it for the correct number of hours. You handle it all perfectly, including making up time on the weekends when some kind of weeknight activity makes you lose a few hours.

At your last appointment, the doctor said there’s the potential that you could reduce your bracing hours to only overnight, which would be a nice lifestyle improvement for you. We’ll find out soon whether that will come to pass. I was talking to Callum about the various ailments our family members have, and he was feeling nervous that he might have scoliosis too. I told him that it was possible, but one good thing about scoliosis is that it has an end. Unlike Crohn’s disease, which he will probably have to manage for the rest of his life, scoliosis either resolves itself through bracing and physical therapy or surgery. In any case, it’s not a life sentence, and I’m so happy of you for (hopefully) being near the end of your scoliosis journey.

You’ve gotten into movies lately, often watching them in your room at night on our various streaming services. You also went to the movies with friends last weekend. You saw Godzilla Minus One, and you really enjoyed it. You explained some of the plot to me when I drove you home, but I still don’t know what the title means. This will be a spoiler on the off-chance that you read this before Christmas, but I got you a FilmScene gift card so you can continue to see a lot of movies. FilmScene is our local independent cinema that shows a lot of more independent and artistic films than the mainstream theaters, so I hope you can make good use of it and enjoy film both as entertainment and as an art form.

Your current favorites: watching movies, pasta, Mubby’s Chex Mix, telling jokes, giving me goofy smiles when I take pictures of you, winning the quiz games you play in French class, lounging in your bed, playing video games, and keeping the dinner table conversation lively with your witty rejoinders.

You’re a special person with a lot of really interesting things to offer. I wish everything in life could be as comfy as your preferred clothes, but even during the bumpy years, you’re still one of the great joys of my heart.

I love you, my sweet firstborn.

Mom

 

11/29/2023

The Tobin Times #147

Filed under: — Aprille @ 7:31 pm

Dear Tobin,

As usual, you’ve approached the last month with enthusiasm and vigor. You play with friends almost every day after school, and you’re always up to some kind of plan or adventure. Earlier this month, you and two of your neighborhood friends earned almost a hundred dollars by raking people’s yards on one afternoon. You claim to be saving up to build a gaming PC, though I’m not sure you really know what that project entails. Your dad seems reluctant to get you started on that, maybe because he anticipates how much of it he would end up doing. You already spend a fair amount of time playing video games on the devices we own, so adding another piece of hardware (many different pieces, I’d guess) might not be the best strategy for your development.

Another money-making scheme of yours is participating in scientific experiments. You tell me to sign you up whenever an experiment comes along that you are eligible for, and you’ve raked in a good amount of money and gift cards for your efforts. Your most recent one is a study of talented and gifted youth. You filled out a survey, did an interview, did activities on a computer, had your vitals measured (including the hand-scan below, which was measuring your finger proportions), took an IQ test, and sent in a saliva sample for genetic analysis.

We haven’t received the results of the IQ test yet, and I actually told the graduate student who administered the test that I’d rather not know. I feel like there’s not much benefit to knowing your own or your child’s IQ. I think of you as really smart, and there’s no need to put a number on that. If your score on that one test on that one day were lower than I expected, I’d feel sad. If your score were really high, you might get an overinflated ego or put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. Either way, we’re happy to support the research, and the details matter less than the fact that I know you’re a creative, bright, friendly, excellent kid. You’re also happy to get Amazon gift cards.

You had a fun Halloween, joining up with a group of friends in a neighborhood not too far from ours. You were a Chaos Agent, which I guess is a character from the video game Fortnite. I had never heard of it, but you showed me a picture, and I did the best I could. I think the costume turned out pretty cool. It was a chilly night, but you were pretty well-bundled and came home with lots of candy. You were kind enough to include Callum in your group, at least to start. He is good friends with the little brother of one of your friends, so it worked out well for a little-kids’ subgroup to form. Your dad walked with the little kids, and the bigger kids were free-range. Luckily everyone stayed safe and watched out for each other. It was a good night, and I think you’re finally through your candy.

You’ve enjoyed having more free time now that soccer season is over. As I mentioned above, you spend most afternoons playing with friends. You always want plenty of warning on stir-fry night, though, so you can help me make it. You also are an expert pizza maker. Mubby and Skitter were visiting a couple of weeks ago when we made Tobin’s Famous Pizza, and it was fun to include them. We only make one smallish pizza at a time, so it becomes an entire-evening affair, with the whole family involved. This time around, you not only did your usual saucing, pepperoni-ing, and cheesing, but you also cut up vegetables. You’re a pretty big vegetable-eater most of the time, but for pizza, you’re a purist. Luckily there were other pizza-eaters who appreciated the peppers and onions.

We’ve been talking a lot about our 2026 Europe trip, and I know the pizza part will be fun for you. Maybe we could even take a cooking class or do some other culinary activity. You have an adventurous spirit, and we’ll have a wonderful time learning together. Our spring break trip to the Florida Keys is coming up in a few months, and we’ve been sighing over how excited we are to get there. Not only do you love adventure, you love family traditions, and that’s what Keys are for us.

Your current favorites: helping me plan travel, such as scouring VRBO for possible European vacation rentals and viewing the one we already have booked for the Keys; being wiggly and not staying in your chair through meals; your favorite Adidas sweatpants and cozy hoodie; playing soccer and other sports with your friends; cooking and trying new foods; and reading (especially the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book you got at the school book fair and anything by Rick Riordan).

You’re a joy, a spark, a dash of flavor in our family sauce. I love you so much, Tobin.

Love,

Mom

 

 

11/17/2023

Belgian waffles

Filed under: — Aprille @ 1:09 pm

 

  • 2 1/4 cups AP flour
  • 1 Tbsp baking powder
  • 3 Tbsps granulated sugar
  • 1/2 tsp table salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 2 eggs, separated
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 cups milk

Mix flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, and cinnamon. In a mixer, mix egg whites to stiff peaks. In a separate bowl, mix egg yolks, oil, vanilla, and milk. Add to dry ingredients and mix well. Fold egg whites gently into mixture.

Cook in preheated and cooking-sprayed waffle iron. Ours uses a generous 3/4 cup batter per waffle. This recipe makes about 6 waffles.

 

11/16/2023

The Callum Chronicle #106

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:54 pm

Dear Callum,

As we move into the darker days of fall, you are a bright spot. You are sweet and affectionate, and you always have something funny and interesting to say.

We had conferences with both your regular classroom teacher, your student teacher, and your ELP teacher over the last week. You’re doing great, going above and beyond academically and doing well socially also. You have some good friends, especially Griffin and Josie, and you have even gotten to know some fourth graders through soccer and ELP. Your ELP teacher said you have a true love of learning, and she enjoys watching how excited you get when you learn something interesting. That doesn’t surprise me; you’ve been enjoying a lot of nonfiction lately at bedtime. Lately we’ve been reading a book about animals, including some very exotic ones. Last night I kind of blew it by telling you how to pronounce axolotl before asking if you already knew how. Spoiler: you knew, and you were mad at me for stealing your thunder. I don’t know where you learned about axolotls, but they’re very interesting animals, and it was fun to read about them with you.

You dived right into the Halloween festivities. I was planning on having you draw a design on your pumpkin and I would carve it, but you insisted on wielding the knife yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you’re not a baby, that you’re a smart and capable kid who is able to do a lot of things. I was talking to your dad about this: with each of the older kids, there was always an actual baby around during their little-kid time. It behooved us to encourage their independence, because babies take so much time and energy that having the bigger kids take care of themselves more helped the general family dynamic. With you, there’s no baby who needs our energy, so we don’t have an impetus to push you toward more independence. You are serving as that impetus. You’re pushing boundaries more and working on your skills, and your dad and I have to remind ourselves that it’s good for you to grow. Sometimes that means making mistakes and messes, but there’s not much we can’t clean up. Luckily, the knife stayed mostly in the jack-o-lantern, and we didn’t have to clean up any blood.

For trick-or-treating, you went with a big group that was mostly Tobin’s friends. Your good friend Griffin is the little brother of one of Tobin’s friends, so it worked out well for you to start off with the whole gang. The bigger kids broke off and took their own trick-or-treating path, and you and Griffin (accompanied by a couple of parents) hit the neighborhood. It was a chilly night, pretty much the coldest night we’ve had so far in this warm fall. You had to put extra layers under your costume, and I think your hands still got cold, but overall it was a success. You chose to be Link from the Legend of Zelda video game series, and I had a fun time putting your costume together. You were happy with how it turned out, and you got a whole lot of candy. I don’t think you’ve even finished it yet, weeks later.

Health-wise, things seem to be going pretty well. One thing I’ve noticed is that your energy has been very high. This year, you run and jump and dance all the way home from school almost every day. This is new; last year I don’t remember you doing anything besides a mid-paced walk. You may be having a little bit of trouble from the iron supplement you added a couple of months ago. I plan to talk to your doctor about that at your appointment next month. I don’t know what the clinical definition of remission is for Crohn’s disease; no one has said that word to us yet, and I don’t know exactly how they’ll determine it. Your last set of labs were good, except for being a bit low on iron, which is why you started taking the iron supplements. It’s very good that you’re able to swallow pills if they’re smallish, which your iron pills are. The doctor was originally planning to prescribe you a liquid, which rumor has it is nasty. I’ve researched it a fair amount, and it’s hard to even find chewable vitamins with iron that aren’t gross. Luckily, you can slurp that iron pill right down with orange juice and be on your way.

You have to get a lot of shots. Along with your every-other-week Humira, you’ve had to repeat the series of Hepatitis B vaccines because your body didn’t produce antibodies the first time around. Apparently that can happen to some subset of the population anyway, which may be why you didn’t respond to the series you got as a baby. I really hope the series you just completed with get you immunity. You’ve been pretty healthy so far this fall. We’ve had a few colds and other bugs run through the family, but you haven’t seemed to suffer too terribly. I’ve been vigilant about keeping you away from sick family members (Tobin had to sleep in the guest room for a while) and cleaning common surfaces frequently. I hope we can continue to protect your health as we treat your Crohn’s.

Your current favorites: playing in the creek with the neighbor girls, reading, playing video games, meat of most kinds, mini muffins, wearing as little clothing as possible, Manchego cheese, eschewing any babyish words (“Don’t call them jammies”), ELP, watching YouTube, and our bedtime reading routine.

I love you so much, my sweet Callum. I know you’re not a baby anymore, but I’m so glad you’re mine no matter what.

Love,

Mom

11/13/2023

Monthly Miles Memo #190

Filed under: — Aprille @ 9:27 pm

Hello, my dear,

I was sorting out some details for our spring break trip, and I had to fill out of form that asked for my kids’ ages at the time of arrival. I had to write nine, twelve, and sixteen. I know you’re not actually there yet, but seeing that number in front of me was a little startling.

You’ve been pretty jovial lately. You don’t give me many details of what goes on in your daily life, but I can only surmise that things are going well. Your grades are stellar; you grumble about band (especially marching band) yet are always in a good mood when I pick you up from a band event. You seem to have friends, though you don’t do a whole lot of socializing, at least in-person. I don’t know if the pandemic messed that up for you or what. Maybe you missed out on the time when a lot of social bonds develop. A lot of people have moved back to in-person social activities, and you do sometimes (like the Halloween band party, discussed below). Most of the time, though, you hang out in your room. I would probably also hang out in my room most of the time if I didn’t have other obligations, but I know from experience that I do better if I pry myself out now and then. I hope you get enough chances to do that.

The last time we discussed it, you did not seem interested in going on the music trip to the UK. I thought it might be something you’d want to do, since you had expressed some interest in it before, but right now you say you just want to go on the Great Clarke-Crall Europe Trip because you don’t have to play music. I can understand why it would be a hassle to haul a trombone through airports, train stations, and European hotel hallways, but it’s too bad you consider playing music a downside. You were invited to play in the Family Folk Machine concert, but you declined. I wonder if music is becoming less enjoyable to you than it used to be.

I don’t feel like I know what your thing is yet. I’m not sure you do either. I was thinking band mind be your thing, because it’s your only extracurricular, but you don’t seem to want to put in the effort required to really excel in band. I’ve tried to encourage you to get involved with other school groups, like theater or Robotics Club, but you’ve never taken the bait. I guess you’re still in a life stage of figuring out where your interests lie, but in the meantime, I wish you’d explore a little more enthusiastically.

You did get involved in a few Halloween activities. You happily carved and accessorized your pumpkin, which turned out pretty cool. You and your fellow trombonists all dressed as CIA agents for the band Halloween party. We couldn’t find a fedora, so you were more of an MI6 type in your bowler hat, but you had the right attitude. On actual Halloween night, you decided to stay home while your little brothers when out trick-or-treating with friends. I did have some teens come to the door, and they got candy from me with no judgment, but I understand the feeling of growing out of it. I did reserve some candy from our bowl for you. We had plenty extra, because it was a crummy night out and not a lot of kids showed up (though more than I was expecting, and Tobin and Callum stayed out decently late too). Just because you feel too old to go trick-or-treating doesn’t mean you feel too old for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Albanese Gummy Bears. I also do not feel too old for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Albanese Gummy Bears.

You’re funny and witty and have a lot of interesting things to say. You usually seem happy enough to hang out with us, and cocktail hour and dinner table conversations get better when you chime in. You hadn’t said much at dinner tonight until I asked you how AP World History was, and you talked about how you were tasked with debating whether the Mongol Empire was a good or bad thing. That got us all talking about the Roman empire, which got Tobin asking questions about ancient Greece and history versus mythology. The whole evening turned out better because of your thoughts and ideas. I’m really glad to have you in my family, and I hope you continue to hone your interests and find areas you can explore further.

Your current favorites: hanging out in your room, playing poker with your siblings and grandparents, wearing comfortable clothing, watching movies on your laptop, pasta, ice cream, Goldfish crackers, lemonade, being silly and goofy (sometimes), and being irritated with how uncool I am (only now and then). You help me with teen slang I wouldn’t have known otherwise, though I’m not sure I will ever get the nuances well enough to satisfy you. Maybe I’m getting closer.

I love you, my dear Artemis. You’re a treasure, and I know you have so much to offer.

Love,

Mom

11/8/2023

Oatmeal fudge bars

Filed under: — Aprille @ 1:20 pm

These are similar to the ones from New Pioneer Co-Op.

Crust:

 

  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
  • 1.5 cups brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2.5 cups AP flour
  • 3 cups old-fashioned oats
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp table salt

Fudge layer:

  • 1 (12 oz) package semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk
  • 2 T butter
  • 1 pinch table salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 F. With a mixer, cream together butter and sugars until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add eggs and vanilla; mixed until well-combined. In a separate bowl, mix flour, oats, baking soda, and salt. Add to butter mixture in two or three additions and mix on low until uniform.

Prepare a 10″x15″ baking pan with nonstick spray and parchment paper. Press about 2/3 of the dough into the pan, using another sheet of parchment paper to help prevent it from sticking to your hands. Melt the fudge ingredients together in the microwave in 30 second bursts, stirring in between, until smooth and uniform. Pour the fudge layer onto the bottom crust, then crumble the remaining dough on top.

Bake for about 25 minutes or until lightly brown and set. Do not overbake.

 

10/26/2023

The Tobin Times #146

Filed under: — Aprille @ 1:18 pm

Dear Tobin,

Sixth grade is continuing along well. While you’ve never had trouble making friends, this year has marked an especially big boom in socializing. You’re still close with you long-time friends, but you’ve also expanded your circle. It seems like every weekend you’re invited to a sleepover at a different friend’s house. You were begging and begging to host one, and since we hadn’t yet reciprocated the generosity of the families who hosted you, your dad and I relented. You had a long weekend off from school, so one of those nights, a few of your friends came over. You played soccer, hide-and-seek, and touch football in the park; ate pizza, chips, and Oreos; stayed up late shrieking; and had a good time all-around. You were really happy with how it went, and I’m sure we’ll be doing it again before sixth grade is out.

You’re a good brother, always ready to engage in active pursuits with Callum. He’s noticed you reading a lot lately and copied you, getting excited about a thick, challenging book. You included him really kindly in your sleepover, letting him hang out with you and your friends until bedtime. You told me that when Artemis had a sleepover, they didn’t let you hang out much, and it hurt your feelings. I read an adage somewhere that a good litmus test of character is whether pains of the past spur a person to expect others to suffer equally, or whether they spur a person to make the world better for others. I’m really proud that you’ve chosen the latter.

Soccer has been another big deal for you lately. You switched to a different team this year, one that includes a lot of your school friends, and you’ve been having a blast with it. Your team had been doing very well until the last couple of weeks, when you’ve had losses, but overall it’s been a great season. You love carpooling to practice with your friend Zach, scrimmaging and skill-building with your friends, and playing the games. You only have one game left this season, which is probably disappointing to you, but I’ll be glad to have soccer wrapped up. It’s only going to get chillier as we move through fall. Also, since Callum’s games are usually not at the same time as yours, it can make for a long day out at the soccer fields. I’m sure you’ll want to play again in the spring, though.

Although you’ve generally been an early-riser when left to your own internal clock, it’s been getting hard to wake you up in the morning. I fear you’re shifting to a teenage schedule of wanting to stay up late and sleep in late. In our school district, secondary school starts an hour later than elementary school, so next year your timeframe will be different. Even when you were a baby and toddler, it was very difficult to wake you up before your body was ready. I remember needing to wake you up early from a nap many days when it was time to go pick up your sibling from school, and I quickly learned that I needed to build in a ten-minute buffer. If I tried to maximize your sleep by letting you continue your nap until the last minute, there was hell to pay. You needed at least ten minutes to just sit there and be grumpy before I could even talk to you.

You’re not quite as much of a turd upon waking up these days, but it’s still a challenge. Your dad handles that task most mornings while I’m packing lunches for you and your siblings. Now and then I am the one who does it, and it always amazes me how challenging it is to get you out of bed. Once the parent in charge finally succeeds, you go straight to the couch and sleep some more. I go over and ask you whether you want your usual cereal for breakfast, and you murmur a yes. I pour your cereal and milk and go back to tell you it’s ready, but you’re always fast asleep again. Then either your dad or I has the job of prying you off the couch. Once we’re successful in that, you eat your breakfast and get dressed. Most days, I then find you asleep in Callum’s bed, fully dressed and ready for school, but happy to nap for a while longer while Callum finishes getting ready.

When you’re not sleeping, playing soccer, or hanging with your friends, you enjoy being part of science experiments. I frequently receive invitations for various paid research endeavors, and whenever you’re eligible to be a subject, you want to do it. You’ve crossed simulated roads while virtual reality cars are passing, you’ve had electrodes measuring your brain waves as you hear different sounds, and you’re part of a longitudinal study about how kids read and learn language. The most recent one you’re doing is part of a study researching the genetic elements of intelligence. You and I both filled out surveys and spit into tubes so they scientists could learn about our genes. You got invited back to the second stage of the study, which involves having your vital signs taken, participating in an interview, and taking a test. The third stage, which is optional, involves an MRI. I don’t know if you’ll be invited to participate in that or even if you’ll want to, but I’m sure the compensation will be part of your decision-making process. You love getting the paychecks and gift cards that come of these experiences. I love being a part of science that could help future generations be safer, healthier, and happier.

Your current favorites: The Percy Jackson book series (and its spin-offs) by Rick Riordan, online gaming with your friends, hanging out with friends after school, sleepovers, soccer, helping cook, and sneaking naps on various soft surfaces throughout the house.

You’re a hoot, a joy, and a big source of smiles. Your mouth always has something enthusiastic and energetic to say, even if your dad wishes you would eat more quietly. It doesn’t bother me, and I’m glad you approach every facet of life with gusto.

Love,

Mom

10/17/2023

The Callum Chronicle #105

Filed under: — Aprille @ 12:56 pm

Dear Callum,

The word that comes to mind when I think about you lately is energy. I don’t know if it’s because we’re getting your Crohn’s disease well-controlled, or if it’s a developmental stage, but you have been in high gear. You’d rather run home than walk, you love to play with your friends (and your siblings and your siblings’ friends), and you have been riding your bike a lot. I’m so happy to see you so full of life and excitement.

You still don’t love the fact that you have to get so many shots. There’s your every-other-week shot of Humira for Crohn’s, plus you’ve had to have an extra series of hepatitis-B vaccines because your first round didn’t generate antibodies. Now we’re all in the timeframe of Covid boosters and flu shots, and you had to get a couple of blood draws to check for Crohn’s related blood counts too. You sometimes feel a little sorry for yourself, wondering why the one-in-one-hundred had to land on you. I don’t want to dismiss your feelings, because I’m sure it’s pretty crummy to have to get so many shots and know that you’re immunosuppressed. I do try to remind you, though, that there are so many one-in-one-hundred things out there, almost everybody’s going to end up with one of them. Artemis has scoliosis, Tobin is colorblind, and we know other people with more serious conditions as well. For the time being, I’m grateful that we have the treatment options and vaccines that we do.

Photo by Gary Clarke

You’re curious, smart, and interested in the world. I think school is going well for you. We’ll learn more when we have our conference with your teacher, but from everything I’ve heard, you’re learning and enjoying yourself. You’ve taken an interest in insects, partly due to your friend Griffin being very excited about them. You and Griffin and another friend formed Bug Club, which mostly involved crawling around in the mini-prairie by your school playground looking for specimens. I think Bug Club got thwarted, because your teacher and principal didn’t want you bring unwanted guests into the classroom. I can’t blame them for that, but Griffin did find a really cool praying mantis a while ago. You also checked out a very informative library book about the life cycle and migration journey of the monarch butterfly. We read that over several bedtimes. Predictably, you got tearful when the butterfly’s life ended, and you kiboshed my suggestion of trying to raise a monarch caterpillar into a butterfly and then releasing it, because it would be too sad to let it go. In any case, I think you enjoyed the book. We see monarchs pretty often around here, and it’s interesting to think about where they started before passing through here (the northeastern United States and southeastern Canada) and where they’re headed (central Mexico, mostly).

I recently took advantage of the generosity of a Family Folk Machiner who donated delicata squash to our sharing table and made a filling for squash ravioli. You got excited about the prospect of making homemade ravioli, and you got involved in the whole process. I was nervous that you might pinch your fingers in the pasta-rolling machine, but you didn’t. You weren’t too interested in the squash filling, but you made a second variety with tomato sauce and parmesan cheese. You and Tobin both enjoyed eating that. Your favorite food group is still meat, though. You love tearing into a ribeye steak or demolishing a pile of chicken wings. I made wings for dinner last night, and I’m glad I bought a large quantity. Most of the family likes wings, but when you’re at the table, they disappear particularly quickly.

On a recent no-school day, you suggested that we take a trip to the mall to do some ice skating. We often go skating when we’re visiting Ames, but we hadn’t been to the Coralville ice rink in a long time. You caught on faster than I expected, with only a few spills, and you recovered quickly from those. You preferred to stay by the wall most of the time, but you ventured out mid-rink a handful of times and did very well. Tobin was eager to coach you, and Artemis came too. We all had a fun time zipping around together. You hadn’t been to the mall for a long time, because it is one of my least favorite places in the world. Even before the pandemic, I avoided it whenever possible. You and Tobin both love it, though, and you took a spin on the carousel too. It’s funny that you have so many fond memories and associations with something like a mall, but I’m glad we were able to get out and enjoy it on a weekday afternoon when it wasn’t too crowded. In fact, the low crowds made the ice skating especially nice, because a trip to a highly-populated rink brings the challenge of dodging other skaters.

Your iron count was still a little low at your last blood test, so we’re adding some supplemental iron to your diet. Between that and the ferocity with which you consume meat, we’ll have your levels up in no time I’m sure. Sadly, it will take another blood draw to find out for sure. I call you my little pincushion, and I hate that it’s the case, but I also admire how well you handle it most of the time. Like recovering from a fall when you’re ice skating, you’re learning to take a deep breath and push ahead to the next challenge.

Your current favorites: muffins, playing outside, playdates with friends, steak, chicken wings, video games, the shows Word Girl and Odd Squad, cuddling up to read and talk at bedtime, and playing the various instruments we have around the house. You’re going to do a recorder solo in an upcoming Family Folk Machine open mic night, and I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to do that.

I love watching you dive into life and explore the world, my sweet Callum. Enjoy the remaining nice days of fall.

Love,

Mom

10/15/2023

Monthly Miles Memo #189

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:17 pm

Dear Artie,

Fall is here, and it’s as busy as usual. Marching band has been taking up a lot of your time lately, with football games, competitions, showcases, and parties keeping us all busy. You’re not a huge fan of the marching component of marching band. You said to me, “I wish there was a kind of band where you just there and play music.” I don’t know if you were being deliberately obtuse or not, but when I replied, “You mean like a band concert?”, you agreed that that was a good idea.

Sophomore year seems to be going well so far. You’re taking challenging classes, including the honors versions of English and French, as well as AP World History. It seems like you’re more challenged this year. When I poke my head into your room each night to say goodnight to you, you’re often doing homework. Last year you didn’t have to do homework very often, so I’m glad you are getting things done of your own volition. I’m also glad you have access to thought-provoking coursework and good teachers. When your dad and I went to your school’s Parents’ Night earlier in the fall, we were impressed with your teachers and the content you’ll be learning.

While you do still spend a lot of time in your room, you’ve been getting out and doing things (besides marching band) too. You went to the Homecoming Dance with friends (and foiled my efforts to get pictures), you joined us on a trip to the ice skating rink on a recent no-school day, and you’ve been a pleasant and entertaining member of the family cocktail hour squad. I’m often impressed with what a funny, intelligent person you’re becoming. We’re coming up on a school board election in our community, and there are a handful of candidates who are using the dog-whistle of “parental involvement” to push for things like removing LGBTQ issues, the discussion of slavery and the Civil Rights movement, and other foolhardy efforts. I take such joy in hearing your thoughts and ideas, even when I don’t fully agree with them or hadn’t considered them. Why would parents want their children to only be exposed to concepts they, the parents, already know? One of the greatest pleasures of my life is learning from you. What a loss it would be to only hear you spout things I taught you. Plus we’d be SOL on the France portion of our Europe trip. I’m counting on you for that.

You took the PSAT recently. You have a while yet before college, but taking that kind of step in the collegiate direction felt a little wild. You said the first three sections were surprisingly easy and the last section was surprisingly hard, so I guess we’ll see how it all sorts out. You haven’t yet expressed any particular opinions on where you’d like to attend college or what you’d like to study, but I’m not too concerned about that. I hadn’t thought any of that through too much at your age either.

We’re all up to date on our Covid vaccines now, which eases my mind a bit as you attend school unmasked this year. Of course, you managed to catch it last year even wearing  mask most of the time. There’s no really effective way to mask during band and at lunch, and I want you to be able to enjoy your school experience. You got over it pretty easily then, and now that our vaccines are re-upped, there’s no reason to think we wouldn’t all do okay if it hits our house again. Callum is the wildcard, due to his immunosuppression, but we’ll just have to do our best and take comfort in knowing that his doctors said most patients in his position do fine with Covid. It’s funny to think that it’s in all likelihood a permanent part of our lives now. Since I plan to live to 100, I’ll live over half my life in a Covid world. You’ll live the great majority of yours in one. Fortunately we have access to vaccines, good hospitals, and other valuable advantages. It’s hard for me, because my instinct is to do anything and everything I can to protect you and your siblings, but I guess I need to relax my grip a bit in order to let you develop into interesting people.

Perhaps I should take some of my own advice from above: I can’t expect to hold you as tightly as I want to and still have you grow, learn, and explore. It’s a matter of balance. You’re a smart and trustworthy person, and there’s nothing I want more than for you to grow into your own self-determined future.

Your current favorites: the French singer/songwriter Zaz, cream soda, Goldfish crackers and Honey Nut Cheerios, pasta in many shapes, the shows Breaking Bad and Lost, exclusively wearing comfy clothes, using the Scratch programming language to build games, schooling me on the subtleties of modern slang, and sleeping late.

Every conversation I have with you makes me think, and a lot of them make me laugh, too. I love you, you’re important to me, and I’m so glad to know you.

Love,

Mom

 

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