I can’t believe I stayed up late to watch Britney Spears perform at the VMAs. I forgot to turn it on when it aired the first time, so I stayed up because it reran afterwards.

What a total waste of time. Although I have to give her props for looking as good as she does after having two kids (blogs I’ve been reading criticizing her body can shut up—we should all be so flabby), her performance was complete crap. She was obviously lip-synching (poorly), and her usual strengths (dancing and facial expressions) were half-assed. I think the production staff must have digitally added clapping and cheering after she finished, because audience shots showed people either not clapping at all or just doing it in a small, polite way.

A bit after she finished, the shot changed to a guy doing Michael Jackson-esque moves to “Billie Jean.” That got me to wondering why Michael Jackson (the performer, not the Beer Hunter, que en paz descanse) is still influential even though nobody wants to get anywhere near him. Denny decided that it’s because Michael Jackson is recognized as being legitimately talented, even though he was ruined by fame. Britney just got ruined by fame without developing any kind of legacy to redeem her historically.

Then that got me wondering why the surviving Beatles seem basically okay. Denny replied that it’s because they weren’t child stars like MJ and Britney. But really, they were, in a way—they were very young when they got as wildly rich and famous as they did. Maybe the difference lies in the fact that they were self-motivated. There’s something about Michael Jackson and Britney Spears that smells like greedy adults taking advantage of kids with potential.

When I was a kid, my mom considered taking me to commercial auditions and stuff because I was melodramatic and good at memorizing things. My dad talked her out of it (not that I’m sure she really would have). Who knows if it would have gone anywhere or not, but in retrospect, my brain is probably all the healthier for having bypassed such a way of life.