10/23/22
Callum and I were talking about how plague doctors (his chosen Halloween costume) looked creepy but they were actually helpers.
C: They won’t know if I’m a trick or a treat!

10/19/22
Callum attended a marching band event last night at the high school in which senior musicians were recognized.
C: What are the grades again?
A: Freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
C: Freshman…sophomore…junior…Seymour.
Little Shop of Horrors really made an impression on him.

9/27/22
I was a parent volunteer with Callum’s class as they saw a ballet, “Penny and the Wolf” (an adaptation of the classic “Peter and the Wolf”).
The character of Grandmother, played by a talented local teen, did an impressive solo. Callum leaned over to me and said, “She’s WAY too athletic to be a grandmother.”

9/25/22
C: Dad and I were playing badminton, and I beat him six games to zero!
A: (jokingly) Wow, he’s terrible at sports.
C: (aghast) Don’t say that! He’s your HUSBAND!

9/18/22
The kids and I got this Venus fly trap at Little Shop of Horrors last night.
C: We should name it Tim. (Pause) or Reginal.
A: Reginald?
C: Reginal.

9/14/22
C: i just realized I haven’t started your book!
A: It’s really more for adults then kids, so it’s okay if you want to wait till you’re older.
C: I’ll be older tomorrow.

9/12/22
Last night we got our traditional Sunday night takeout. Unfortunately, Callum’s fries got left out of the package, and we didn’t notice until we sat down to eat. I gave him my fries, which made him happy. It wasn’t so bad because Denny shared his onion rings with me.
Later, as I was helping him get ready for bed, Callum looked into my eyes and very earnestly said, “Mom, I want to thank you for giving me your French fries. I really appreciated that.”
He can have every French fry I ever get for the rest of my life.

9/3/22
Upon hearing a description of a corn dog:
C: I tasted that with my mind and it DOES sound good!

8/27/22
At bedtime last night:
A: What do you think you want to be for Halloween this year?
C (age 7): A plague doctor.
Okaaaaaay.

6/14/22
Callum asked me if Kentucky Fried Chicken is good.
A: I don’t really remember. I haven’t had it in probably thirty years.
C: Thirty years? I didn’t even know you WERE thirty.
I believe in the dignity and honor of age, but I also believe I’m going to bask in the glow of that comment for a while.

5/17/22
I was in the room while Tobin and Denny were watching the Celtics vs. the Heat.
D: That guy you like with the green hair is out hurt.
A: Good. I feel like he’s Giannis’s enemy. [Giannis is Tobin’s favorite player for the Bucks, who were recently kicked out of the playoffs after losing to the Celtics.]
T: He’s really not.
A: Oh, I know. I just like forming loyalties for no good reason.
D: You’re a sports fan.

5/17/22
C: Do we have any skewers?
A: What kind of skewers?
C: Like for kebabs.
[Callum has made and enjoyed fruit skewers in the past, so it seemed plausible.]
A: I think so. What do you want to do with them?
C: Make a crossbow.

5/11/22
Callum asked me to find the hat he got as part of his baseball uniform, “The one that says Crall hashtag ten inside.”

5/7/22
Callum’s thumbnail that he injured playing baseball is in the process of falling off as his new nail grows in to replace it. It’s kind of gross but not serious. I was trying to reassure him.
A: It’s annoying, but it’s not dangerous.
C: You know what is dangerous?
A: What?
C: Being stabbed by a spear in your sleep.

4/29/22
Callum was working on a school assignment. I came to check on him.
C: I made a good loaf of progress.

4/18/22
Callum’s teacher asked who in the class likes corn.
C: Off the cob is good, but on the cob is where it’s at.

4/16/22
A: I adore you.
C: I adore you more than you adore me.
A: I don’t see how that could be.
C: It could be and it IS be.

4/8/22
[Class hangout is a free-form Zoom when Callum and his classmates can chat.]
A: What did you do in class hangout today?
C: Um…um…
Denny: I heard him showing off a lot of Nerf guns and weapons.
C: That’s why I didn’t tell you.

4/5/22
As we were getting settled to read a bedtime book…
Callum: Eve of the Emperor Penguin, not the macaroni penguin.
A: There’s such a thing as a macaroni penguin?
C: Yes. Google it.
He was right, of course.

3/31/22
Callum: A sting is not as bad as your clothes catching on fire.
A: Well, yes. That’s true.
C: That happened to Quintero once.
That was a memorable New Year’s Eve party, Buffy!

3/15/22
A: Oh, no. Callum got Frosty all over his seatbelt [of the rental car].
C: Let’s not talk about that…just like we don’t talk about Bruno.

2/4/22
Callum: Why do people in weddings kiss mouth-to-mouth so much? That spreads COVID.

2/2/22
Artemis challenged Callum with a riddle.
A: Mary’s mother has four children. They’re named April, May, June, and…?
C: Denny?

1/19/22
Callum: “You can never tell how hungry you are. (pause) I don’t know if that’s a saying or not. (another pause) Sounds good, though.”

1/16/22
Scene: The dinner table. Teen is being sullen and uncommunicative. Ten-Year-Old is being crabby because his first choice for take-out night was unavailable due to low staffing, so he was forced to endure his second-favorite. Adult Woman is annoyed because Teen doesn’t like Ten-Year-Old’s second favorite, so she had to make an additional meal on what is supposed to be her one night off of cooking per week (chose to, technically, but she was still annoyed).
Callum, getting up from his chair and whispering in Adult Woman’s ear:
“I think you are DIVINE.”
So that helped.

1/12/22
C: What’s a leg of lamb?
A: It’s a kind of meat.
C: Does it come from alpacas?

12/15/21
Callum’s thoughts on the topic of exercise:
“I em going to teach you about exercise. You will lift. You will swet. You will flex. You will use a outfit. You will take brakes. It is fun!”

12/10/21
C: My foot hurts, pacifically my left foot.
A: Oh, really? What happened?
C: I feel like I have a scratch on the palm of my foot.