Happy(ish) birthday
Hi. It’s my birthday.
I woke up this morning snuggled up with my husband and son, which seems like a pretty good way to start a birthday.
Things went rapidly downhill; Denny and I got automated alerts through the Hawk Alert system that a shooter was at large in Iowa City. Of course what I thought of immediately was the recent campus shootings, like Virginia Tech and Northern Illinois, and the Gang Lu massacre from here at the University of Iowa. It was very scary at first, because there were no details for what felt like a long time. Our office got locked down, as did the schools in the area. Soon the story became public; it wasn’t a lunatic opening fire on campus. Rather, it was a recently-disgraced local businessman who killed his wife and four kids in their home about a mile from my house. He then (it seems—none of this is confirmed yet) crashed his van on the interstate and died.
It’s all just horrifying. A couple of my friends and friend-of-friends knew the family.
Eventually I felt okay enough to send Denny off to work, but it took a while.
It’s hard to imagine how a person could become desperate enough to do something that awful. Normally I avoid the phrase “there are no words to describe…” because, you know, that’s the purpose of words. But words like horrifying and awful just seem too weak under the circumstances. I don’t know what kind of mental illness would lead someone to destroy his family, but in some ways that’s even worse than a random killing spree. If you can’t trust your daddy, what do you have in life?
Denny reassured me that he would never do such a thing. I already knew that, but it was good to hear.
Hug your families, and if you ever feel the need to commit a murder/suicide, do the suicide part first.
I just wonder at the power of public humiliation. Surely it’s no coincidence that all this happens on the eve of what was sure to be a pretty revealing criminal trial. What would we discover that would warrant the killing of four innocent children and a wife, also presumably pretty innocent herself.
Leah told me today that she and Ava had met the mother, Cheryl, and their youngest, a little girl Ava’s age. I’m thankful I don’t have to explain to Ava what happened.
So, anyway, happy birthday. I hope Miles does something especially cute in your honor today.
Several people at my workplace (West Music) knew the family. One of the little girls is pictured on the cover of our school year catalog, and her portrait is also on the wall of the children’s section of the store (along with portraits of several other children). We’re deciding whether to remove it or keep it up in memoriam.
Happy birthday, in spite of it all.
-Janani
happy birthday … i’m sorry all this happened!
Happy Birthday (a little late), Aprille. Having a little one makes these kinds of stories hit even harder, I’ve found. Cuddles help.
I got that call early that morning and of course the thing I was afraid of was that there was someone on campus, because that’s the first thing you think of and also it was the first day of classes after spring break. Then I found out what really happened, I heard the news later and someone in my class said he saw the crashed van himself. And it was…well, what can you say. You imagine it and shudder.
How heartbreaking. I’m sorry this happened at all, and that it happened on your birthday.
We all have so much to be grateful for, but unfortunate that it takes something so awful, sometimes, to make us aware of it.
They were awfully skimpy on the details — it spooked me and I live 2 miles from campus and didn’t need to be there that day!! Sheesh, they need to iron out the wording on those hawkalerts.
It’s amazing how having a child changes your perspective on tragedies like this. Before I would have said “how awful” but now it’s like… how do you do that? I can’t even start to comprehend that. It becomes indescribable.
Happy birthday! Your birthday is Robin’s 1st month-birthday. Awww. Are you and Denny both March babies? Wild!! Anyway, hope you had fun.
A belated happy birthday, despite the surroundings. Here’s to many more!
Hey, happy belated birthday. I am with you on the suicide first.