Courtesy of Morgan

1.  Name your brand of deodorant / antiperspirant.  Would you (if it existed) get surgery to eliminate any sweat or odor from your underarm? 

I’ve been using Dove lately.  I find that when it blends with sweat, it doesn’t smell too bad.  I used Degree for years, which I basically liked, except it tended to make a weird smell when it blended with sweat.  It wasn’t B.O. exactly, just a strange combination.

No, I would not get such a surgery.  Sweating is good for you.  Besides, I don’t want to have a surgery that hasn’t been researched for decades.  You never know, armpit sweat glands could be the new tonsils.  People used to think that tonsils were no big deal to have taken out, but little did they know that intact tonsils are the key to telepathy.

I know what you’re thinking.  I know it in my throat.

2.  Which animal do you think you have a better chance of surviving an attack from?  (a) A rabid puma, (b) a Floridian alligator or (c) an ill-mannered sloth. 

Well, the sloth is the wimpiest, right?  Definitely not the rabid puma; I wouldn’t want a rabies bite or a puma bite separately, much less at the same time.  And I just read a story in the Onion about how alligators do not become more docile the more you drink, despite popular perception.  That leaves me with the sloth.

3.   If you found the following message on your car window after work: “We are watching you and we are not happy!” Whom would you suspect & why?
Denny and I drive to work together, so I’d probably assume he was the one who was being watched disapprovingly.  I would suspect that it’s his mortal enemy, but it’s pretty hard to imagine that he would have a mortal enemy.  He’s quite likeable.

I guess that just leaves me, then.  Hm.  It might be that undergrad I had to fire a year or so ago.

4.  Since no good food combination has been invented since Peanut Butter & Jelly, which two foods would you like to see enter in marital bliss? 

I disagree with the sentiment about PB&J being the only good food combination.  Have you forgotten about goat cheese and figs?  Beef and bleu cheese?  Chocolate and cinnamon?  Balsamic vinegar and strawberries?  Toffee and cayenne pepper?  If I had to invent a new one, though, I would invent Cheetos and fish.  Mmm…fish Cheetos.

5.    In the movie Back to the Future, Michael J. Fox uses a Van Helen music as a weapon of torture to persuade is father into asking out his mother.  What music would torture you? 

I really hate that Nickelback song (is it Nickelback?  It’s some angsty young man group.) about looking through a yearbook.  How pompous and boring is that song?  Very.